Boiling an egg is one of the easiest things to cook, if you even consider it cooking. There are six easy steps:
1. Place the raw egg in a saucepan.
2. Run cold water into the saucepan until the water is 1 inch above the egg.
3. Place the saucepan on a stove and cook over medium heat until the water begins to boil.
4. Reduce the heat to low.
5. Simmer for 2 to 3 minutes for soft-boiled eggs or 10 to 15 minutes for hard-boiled eggs.
6. Remove the egg with a spoon or ladle and let it cool slowly, or run cold water over it to cool it more quickly.
Disclaimer: Do not use my cooking methods! I repeat, do not use my cooking methods.
I’m going to start out this story saying that I was operating only a few hours sleep. I am a grandma (not literally) and usually go to bed around 10 but was up until the wee hours of the morning. I had just gotten home from my nephew’s baseball game and had a little time before I was going up to my parent’s house to celebrate Father’s Day. I thought I’d be on top of things and boil some eggs to have for breakfast for the next week. I put the eggs in the pot, filled it with water and put it on the stove on med high. I thought I’d speed up the process by cooking it on a higher temperature than I usually do. I went into the living room to catch up on some shows I’d recorded. I watched a little tv until it was time for me to head over to my parent’s. I went into the kitchen got a bottle of water, grabbed my phone, keys, and purse. I locked up and headed out. I visited my parents and about an hour later we sat down to eat. We were having a nice dinner of ribs, potato salad, cucumber salad, and deviled eggs. I do not like deviled eggs because I don’t like to eat the yolk of a hard-boiled egg, I only eat the whites. My Mom being the great lady she is she set a side some whites for me to have. I had filled my plate and was taking a bite of the egg when it hit me. I left the eggs on the stove!!! Not wanting to panic my family at my stupidity, I calmly walked over picked up my phone and excused myself to the bedroom. I called my boyfriend who only lives 5 minutes away from my house and asked him to turn the stove off. At this point the eggs had been cooking/burning for about an hour and a half. A few minutes later I received this text.
I knew going home was not going to be fun so I decided to just enjoy my dinner. I finished my evening with my family and headed home to face the consequences of my dumb dumb actions. I was expecting a mess but what I hadn’t thought about was the smell. Regular hard-boiled eggs don’t smell great to begin with when you peel them. I opened my front door to the smell burnt and exploded eggs hitting me in the face. I was taken a back by it. Over the years I’ve burnt popcorn, pizza, and over flowed a pot of potatoes but nothing compares to the smell of these eggs. The first thing I did was open the door to try to get the smell out. I then decided that I needed to document my stupidity and take pictures. After which I took the pot of charred eggs outside to try to get rid of some of the stench. I had never thought about how much of a mess exploded eggs would make. There was egg shells and yoke everywhere. I cleaned up and began the process of cleaning the pot I had violated. I actually debated throwing in the towel and just pitching the pot but I didn’t because it is my favorite one. I chipped away at the burnt egg remains for about 15 minutes before I decided to let to soak over night. I brought air fresheners into the kitchen and sprayed the whole house with room spray to try to make it bearable. I then did the most important step; I put my smoke alarm up. I text my boyfriend to tell him I had done so. I wouldn’t want him to be worried I would burn my house down with at least a warning from now on.

The smell in my house of egg-travaganza has started to fade but was still there this morning. What I’ve learned from the whole ordeal is that I should use a timer, I should buy a timer, the smell of burnt eggs stays in your nose for a while, and I’m too old to stay up late without any caffeine. Boiling eggs is an easy task when done properly but I now know how badly it can go wrong. Not to self: over an hour on the stove for eggs is too long.