Sep 262012

This morning when I was checking all my social media websites I saw my brother had posted something from a site called rottenecards.  I thought the picture was funny so I decided to check it out.  It is very similar to the ever popular someecards.  If you have some time to kill is worth checking out.  Viewer discretion is advised, a good deal of pictures have cuss words in them or suggestive language.    I am trying to stay away from bad language but I will say a well timed F-bomb can be worth it.

 Posted by at 2:53 pm
Sep 212012

1. What kind of rooms have no walls?

2. What do you get when you cross sneeze and a punchline?

3. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

4. If a whole nation drove pink cars what would it be?

5. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep?

6. What clothes does a house wear?

7. What is the loudest state?

8. What kind of shoes do all spies wear?

9. How is corn on the cob like the Army?

10. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

It’s been a long week I’m looking forward to relaxing this weekend.  The number 10 joke is going to my new go to joke for a while.  It really makes me smile.  It doesn’t take much to make me happy I guess.

Answers: 1. Mushrooms. 2. A sick joke. 3. Every morning you’ll rise and shine. 4. A Pink Car-Nation. 5. So he could have sweet dreams. 6. Address. 7. Illi-Noise. 8. Sneakers. 9. It has lots of kernels. 10. Roamin’ Catholic.

Sep 202012

On Tuesday afternoon I came home from work to find The Guardian parked directly across the street from my house.  The Guardian is the Evansville Police Department’s newest tool to aid in crime deterrent.   The Guardian as it states on the side is a neighborhood surveillance unit.  As I’ve blogged about before Evansville like many other cities has a meth problem.  The idea of the ‘The Guardian’ is to park the vehicle in high crime/drug areas and it will deter criminals from doing things in the area.  The vehicle is very hard to miss parked in your neighborhood and that’s the idea.  The vehicle has cameras to record all activity in the neighborhood good and bad.   

 When I first came home and saw it parked across the street, my first thought was take a picture.  Yep, I’m going to take a picture of you taking a picture of me.  I then sent the picture to my boyfriend saying, “I don’t think this is a good sign.”  He and I joked about why it was parked where it was, and that they police had finally caught on to my crazy criminal ways.(For the record that’s not true)  I did find it particularly funny was there because just a few days earlier my boyfriend said that he didn’t think my neighborhood was that bad.  He said I was probably exaggerating the drug activity.  Of course, I was right (as usual) and my neighbors are druggies.   I have kind of mixed emotions about it being there.  On one hand it confirms my fears about the drug activity in my neighborhood.  Then on the other hand it is reassuring EPD is aware of the problem and working to fix it.  I will say I have felt better going to bed at night and my neighborhood has been very quiet for a change.  

 Last night I came home after dark and got to see the night features the truck has.  When I drove passed it to pull into my driveway spot lights were shined on my car.  I thought oh that’s cool there are motion lights on it.  I got out and watched for a few minutes to see what all it would do.  As it turns out they weren’t motion lights.  The truck has spot lights on at least four different places and the lights cycle around the truck every few seconds.  From what I can tell it makes it so the ‘The Guardian” is always visible.   It has been parked on the street since Tuesday and I wouldn’t mind it being there for a few more days.  I’m sure now that I’ve said that it will be gone when I get home today.  There’s hoping that my neighborhood will improve.

Sep 142012

1. What did Snow White say when her photos didn’t come back from the photo store?

2. What kind of material do dinosaurs make their floors out of? 

3. What happened to the bed bugs who fell in love? 

4. What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again. Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR!

 Answers: 1. Some day my prints will come. 2. Rep-tiles. 3. They got married in the spring. 4. Ok you two, don’t start anything.

Sep 112012

September 11, 2001 is not a day I will ever forget.  Most American’s can tell you where they were when the first tower was hit.  The horrors of that day are unspeakable.   I don’t know that I have any words of wisdom that can  make people feel better or hurt less as a result of 9/11.  What I do know is that I can make the most of today.  I can embrace the joys of freedom and enjoy life.  I can try to be positive and make people feel a little better on a small-scale.  My way of doing this at work is by putting a candy bowl out.  I know some might say it’s too early for Halloween decorations.  I scuff at the nah sayers. I think if it’s after Labor Day it’s fair game.    I think having  the candy bowl brings me as much happiness as the people who receive the treats.  Seeing a few smiles today is the light in the dark today needs.

Sep 072012

1. What is the difference between a frog and a cat?

2. What’s a chimney sweep’s most common ailment?

3. What would you get if you crossed a pigeon and a general?

4. What do you call a frightened scuba diver?

5. What did the chimpanzee say when his sister had a baby?

6. What’s the motto of the ghoul’s convention?

7. They arrested the monkey for throwing feces at zoo attendants.His charge?

8.Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder?

Today is my 28th birthday.  As a turn another year older I’ve realized how childlike my sense of humor can be.  I still think farts are funny.   I was out with my nephew when he “cut the cheese” as he likes to call it.  I looked at him and he was giggling about it.  I smiled and leaned in and said farts are always funny.  I hope as I get older I stay young at heart. 

Answers: 1. A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times. 2. The Flue. 3. A military coo. 4. Chicken of the sea. 5. Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. 6. The morgue the merrier. 7. Turd debris assault. 8. He made a spectacle of himself.

Sep 052012

My boyfriend and I were sitting at a stoplight waiting to turn when he starts laughing and tells me to look in the mirror.  I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw.   I’m going to guess and say the woman is the boy’s grandma.  Here’s how I imagine how this pair ended up behind me.  Jonny asks his grandma, “Can you give me a ride to Billy’s house?”  “Sure Jonny, I’ll meet you outside in a few minutes.”  Jonny would then go outside and waits by Grandma’s car.  Grandma comes outside and walked by the car and to the garage where the moped is parked.  “Hop on” she’d say.  Jonny would weigh his options and decide he didn’t want to walk.  He would just have to chance it and hope that no one saw him on the back of a moped with this Grandma.  The icing on the cake is that Grandma is dressed in her favorite pink camo outfit with matching headband and no teeth. 

If you’ll notice in the pictures the boy has his head down.  I took a few pictures and in each one of them his head is down.  This leads me to believe my account of their day is correct.  Damn I’m good.