Aug 312012
 

1. What happens to illegally parked frogs?

2. What turns without moving?

3. Which president was least guilty?

4. What happened to the guy to tried to catch some fog?

5. What is the gambler’s heaven?

6.What do you call a cow who gives no milk?

7. What famous general had narcolepsy?

8. Why did th man sleep on the chandelier?

9.What is the difference between a well dressed man and a dog?

10. What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence?

It’s Friday and almost time to kick off another Labor Day weekend.  I hope everyone enjoys the long weekend and the short week the follows.  For the first time in a long time my boyfriend actually has the weekend off.  I’m looking forward to spending the weekend with family and friends.  Have a safe and happy Labor Day!

Answers: 1.They get toad away. 2. Milk, it turns sour. 3. Lincoln, he is in a cent. 4. He mist. 5. Paradise. 6. A milk dud or an udder failure. 7. General Anesthesia. 8.  Because he was a light sleeper. 9. The man wears a suit, the dog just pants. 10. Udder destruction.

Aug 242012
 

1. What grows up while growing down?

2. Did you hear about the bear that was hit by an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place?

3. What did the coach say to his losing team of snakes?

4. Why do ambassadors never get sick?

5. What’s the longest piece of furniture in the world?

6. Why did the woman name her iPhone “Titanic”?

7. Did you hear about the guy who went nuts in the Museum of Modern Art?

8.Where did Noah keep his bees?

I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot.

Gravity is studied a lot because it’s a very attractive field.

I used to work in a blanket factory but it folded.  

 Answers: 1. A goose. 2. They said it was a grizzly accident. 3. You can’t venom all. 4.  Diplomatic immunity. 5. The multiplication table. 6. She was trying to get it to sync. 7. He told the judge he suffered from contemporary insanity. 8. In the ark hives.

Aug 212012
 

I’m not usually one to complain. Ok scratch that I’m not usually one to complain to the right people.  I’m sure if you asked my boyfriend he’d say I complain a great deal.  I’m not the type of person to file a complaint if I get bad service.  I chalk it up as a loss and either won’t go to the place again or make an excuse like, “they must be new.” I’m not really out to get someone in trouble at their job.  I worked in customer service for too long to do that to someone.  That being said, I’m horribly unhappy with the service from Wow Way Cable in Evansville,IN.

This past weekend I was packing to go out of town for a wedding when my cable and internet go out.  I had noticed earlier a Wow van out in front of my new neighbors.  I had been kind of peeking out my window to see what he was doing and I could hear him under my house so it was hard to ignore.  When my services go out I immediately go outside and tell the man working on the line.  He tells me he’s not working on my line.  I explain I understand that but my cable and internet were working and when he started working it went out.  He says ok he’s going to check on it and I walk away.   After a little time goes by I go outside and ask him about it again.  He tells me he’ll call it in and continues what he’s doing.  Being a Wow customer I would have thought he would have tried to fix the problem quickly for me.  Nope. After a little more time passes I go outside once again.  This time I see that the worker has broken the glass that covers the crawl space and is in the process of throwing the broken glass aside as though he hasn’t done anything.  I decided not to confront me about the glass (which I now regret) and again explain my cable isn’t working and tells me he’s called it in. 

 I go back inside fuming mad.  I have errands I need to run before leaving town, my cable and internet aren’t working, and the glass is now broken.  I try to gather myself and take pictures of the broken glass trying to decide what to do.  I’m so angry at this point that I don’t want to talk to the worker again.  I decide I’m going to leave and tell the worker to make a note that my services weren’t working and I would have them come out again when I had time. (After all they were not supposed to be working on my line anyway.)  I go over to Wow van and before I have a chance to say anything he shouts at me, “it’s working.”  I turn around and go back inside to check.  My internet is back on but no cable.  After messing with the cable boxes I realize they need to be reset and get them working again.

 I gather my things and leave to run my errands.  Due to my blood pressure level, and knowing myself, I decide it would be best for everyone involved if I didn’t talk to the worker anymore because I might flip out.  He had cut off my service and acted as though it was my fault.  He then broke the glass cover and doesn’t say anything.  I call my step-dad who owns the building and explains that the Wow Way guy had broken the glass and did not say anything that I am aware of.  I told him I was not home but the neighbors were and the Wow guy that still there.  I wanted him to see if they could maybe get things taken care of.  Today my step-dad calls Wow about getting the glass fixed.  Apparently the worker says the glass was broken when he got there.  As you can see from the picture the glass is broken and shards are placed next to it.  So what the worker is saying is that he removed the broken pane of glass, moved the shards of glass out of the way, and then crawled over the top of where the broken glass just was sitting inside the crawl space.  Then crawled back out, replaced the broken pane, and set the shards down again.  Seriously, that doesn’t even make sense.  Now I’m going to have to find a new service provider now. 

After reading this you’re probably thinking I’m a whiner and just like to complain but that’s not true though. I have a bright shiny side too.  I have a story about great customer service to contrast my terrible Wow experience.  One day I was complaining to my boyfriend as I do from time to time, about a pot hole in my neighborhood.  When he said I should call the pothole hotline and they will fix it. I thought he was making fun of me but there really is such a thing in Evansville.  The city does a “pothole blitz” to fix the holes every few months.  It currently was not a blitz time so I decided to email someone in the city department to see what I could do.  I sent my email at 3:36pm by 3:41pm I had received a response.  The exchange of emails went as follows:

To Whom It May Concern: I would like to know what is needed to do to have a pot hole repaired in my neighborhood.  I live onEast Main Circle.  The pot hole is in the middle of the intersection ofEast Quirk StreetandEast Main Circle.  If I could have the phone number or email of whom I should request the repair to it would be greatly appreciated.   Thanks, Sarah Quirk  

I will write up a work order to have the pothole inspected.  If our inspector determines that the pothole needs patching, he will send the work order to our Street Maintenance Department to have it patched.  If you have any other concerns, please feel free to contact me at 436-4982.  Thank you.  Sharon Evans, Secretary, Department of Transportation & Services. 

I came home from work the following day and the pothole had been filled.  Within five minutes I had gotten a response and within 24 hours the problem had been solved.  I believe this is outstanding work by the city employees.  I can’t believe how quickly they fixed it and what a nice job they did.  It is paved smoothly and I drive now  drive over it with ease.  I’d be lying if I said I don’t smile a little sometime when I drive over it.  Now when I see five city workers standing around the one guy doing actual work I won’t care.  I guess there really is a method to the madness.

Aug 172012
 

1. How did the police scare the bugs away?

2. Why wouldn’t the Energizer Bunny come out of the bathroom?

3. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

4. How did the Pillsbury Doughboy die?

5. What do you call a stupid plant?

6. How do crazy people go through the forest?

In honor of Shark Week I’ve added an extra picture this week.  Enjoy!

Answers: 1. They called for the S.W.A.T. team. 2. Because he kept goin’ and goin’ and goin’. 3. He wanted to win the No-bell prize. 4. Yeast Infection. 5. Fool–iage. 6. They take the psycho path.

 

Aug 102012
 

1. What kind of tree do fingers grow on?

2. What did the fireman name his children?

3. Why did the woman pay her exorcist on time?

4. What did Einstein’s mother say when he developed his famous theory?

5. Why did the banker quit his job? 

6. What did the magician say to the fisherman? 

I know I haven’t posted in a little bit.  I hope these jokes will make up for lost time.  Enjoy your weekend!

Answers: 1. A palm tree. 2. Jose and Hose B 3. She didn’t want to get repossessed. 4. It’s about time! 5. He lost interest.  6. Pick a cod, any cod.