Apr 272012
 

1. What do you call a boom-a-rang, that doesn’t come back?

2.What has a bottom at its top?

3. What do you call a cow with no legs?

4. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

5. What grows down, when it grows up?

6. How do you catch a squirrel?

 Did you hear about the energizer bunny got arrest?  He was charged with battery. A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative. The lesson of the day is without geometry life would be pointless. 

 Answers: 1. A stick 2. A leg 3.Ground beef 4. Look Grandpa no hands! 5. A goose 6. Climb into a tree and act like a nut

Apr 252012
 

Today I went to my local Schnucks Pharmacy to drop off some prescriptions.  I was armed with a few new scripts to be filled.  I went to the doctor hoping they would tell me it was just allegories but turned out to be an ear infection and sinus infection.  I have been filled my prescriptions at the same place for longer than I can remember.  I used to work at the store so I generally don’t have any issues.  I wasn’t getting any narcotics and even any good cough medicine.  An inhaler, nasal spray, and Z-Pack were about it.  The tech asked me for my driver’s license and my date of birth.  I handed my id to her which I thought was kinda weird but I did it.  She then began to look at my scripts with an eagle eye.  She’d look at the script and then glance back at me.  I could see the little hamster running on it’s wheel in the tech’s head.(She’s a meth head I just know it.) She continued to do this for a few minutes before she walked away.  She came back and said that they usually print two prescriptions on one page but mine had continued on to a second page.  I said yes that I few a prescriptions and that I had a couple I wasn’t filling yet.  She said that if I didn’t have the second page then the whole prescription wouldn’t be valid and they wouldn’t be able to fill it.  Now keep in mind I did have the second page that was needed.  She repeated that same thing again and I asked if it was going to be a problem?  She repeated again that if I didn’t have the second page it wouldn’t be any good.  I asked if she needed the doctor’s office to fax over a different copy?  She said no this would work but if I didn’t have the second page it wouldn’t work.  She told me to give it a few hours and it should be ready.  I thanked her and drove away.  On my way back to work I kept playing the exchange over in my mind.  It just didn’t sit right with me. If I were to write a letter to the tech if would read as follows:

Dear Pharmacy Tech,

Please do not talk to me about hypothetical situations when you have all the information you need to fill my prescription.  “If I didn’t….” isn’t something I want to hear.  If you continue to tell me hypothetical situations instead of helping me I may start telling you about hypothetical situations too.  If I didn’t have self-control then I would punch you in the face.  See how fun this game can be? 

Thanks,

Your Biggest Fan

Apr 232012
 

I was making a delivery in Vincennes, Indiana and decided to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom before getting back on the road.   I’m not very familiar with Vincennes so I stopped at the first gas station I saw as to not miss one.  The gem I went to was Cash N Dash.  As soon as I got out the truck I could smell grease filled that air.  I walked in and saw a line of people waiting to get their pull tab tickets from a machine.  I didn’t even know they still made machines that you could buy pull tab tickets from.  I made my way to the back to the restroom.  I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be a good situation and I wasn’t disappointed.  I walk in and lock the door and survey the area.   I’m happy to find that there is toilet paper so I don’t catch an STD from the toilet seat.  As I’m getting ready to start layering the toilet seat I notice something special on the wall.  A handy dandy ash tray/butt can.   That is so thoughtful of the owners to put that in there.  I mean you never know if you’re going to bring your cig into the restroom with you.  Or even better you decide to light up while in the restroom.   What I didn’t find was a smoke alarm though.   I could see on the walk what looked like it used to be a smoke detector but it appeared to have been hit off the wall.  I opted not to use all the amenities that the restroom offered.  I’m glad the offer was on the table though. 

Apr 202012
 

1. How do you get holy water?

2. Where do you find a dog with no legs?

3. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?  

A man put in 10 puns for a pun contest, hoping at least one of them would win.  But sadly no pun in ten did.

If don’t think any of jokes are funny then you really need to lighten up.   Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, then we would fall off.

Answers:1. Boil the hell out of it. 2. Right where you left it. 3. Because they taste funny.

 

 

Apr 192012
 

 

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  I would say ‘dusting’ in Iraq would fit this description.  I would use a compressed air wand instead of the traditional rag and elbow grease though.  I would dust out the parts bins hoping each time that the sand would stop blowing into them.  As it turns out when you’re in the middle of the desert you’re surrounded by sand.  Who would have thought, right?

 

Apr 132012
 

If you see these “tough numbers” you better turn the other way.  They were last seen in Hilton Head, SC.  They have been known to stare people down, look tough, and ride without helmets.  They are considered unarmed and not dangerous.

Apr 122012
 

Nagasaki Inn is my favorite place to get sushi.  I’ve never had a bad meal there. The staff is friendly and the service is quick.  I have an hour lunch break and I’m able to eat and get back with time to spare.  They have a sushi lunch bento that includes a sushi roll, soup, salad, egg roll, and a chef’s choice side.  Nagasaki offers over 30 different sushi rolls to choose from.   My two favorite rolls to order are the Las Vegas Roll and the Volcano Roll.  If you’re not a big sushi fan because of the raw fish then the Las Vegas Roll is for you.  The Las Vegas Roll is cooked spicy salmon, cream cheese and avocado inside then deep fried.  The Volcano Roll is fresh salmon, spicy tuna and cream cheese inside with spicy mayo.  The meal comes with miso soup but I prefer the soup that is offered at the hibachi grill so I substitute.  I’m not exactly sure what is in the hibachi soup but it tastes like some type of broth.  It is excellent so I don’t really care what it’s made of. 

Nagasaki Inn doesn’t just have sushi though.  They have an amazing hibachi grill as well.  The chef’s put on a little show for you as they cook your meal.  The dinner menu is a bit pricey so I usually come for lunch.  You get your choice of meat/fish, rice, bean sprouts or cabbage, vegetables, and soup or salad.  They have two dipping sauces, a mustard sauce and a ginger sauce.  The ginger sauce is my favorite and I request two of them instead of the mustard.  I would eat vegetables everyday if I could dip them in that ginger sauce.   The next time you’re in the mood for Japanese or Chinese food you should check out Nagasaki Inn.  If you’ve never seen an onion volcano then you must come by and see it for yourself.