May 162018

Sometimes you just need to stop and enjoy the small things.  Last night was not a good night at my house.  My daughter woke up more than she usually does and fought me through her feedings.  There was a storm which scared one of the dogs so she had to be in the bed with me.  When I say with me I mean, on top of me.  She has some weird issues(long story) so she wears a cone most of the time so you can imagine how fun it is to pick up a 60lbs dog with a cone on at 2am to put her in the bed and then have to lay on top of you and smash her cone head into your face.  So it was long exhausting night that was followed by a long morning of my daughter not wanting to nap or eat her bottles.  After fighting to get her to eat again and getting her ready for her nap, I started to rock her before I laid her down as I usually do.   I was thinking about how I needed to eat, wanting coffee in a bad way, wondering if I could take my headache medicine yet, wondering if the long night would become a fussy day, thinking about everything but holding her.  Then she started to talk to me. She often times will “talk” as a way to put herself to sleep.  She was babbling away and I replied I usually do.  She just kept it up though. After  5 minutes had gone by I decided to sit rock her.  The longer she talked the more I realized that she just needed me.  She needed to hear my heart beat in my chest, hear my voice, and feel my skin on hers.  In that moment she needed me to stop worrying about everything and just be there.   My daughter didn’t stop “talking” to me for 15 minutes or more before she drifted off to sleep.  I almost missed out of the sweetest voice and moment because I wanted to get on with my day.  I’m glad I took a breath and let her tell me what she needed.  After I laid her down I realized my headache was gone. That’s when the water works started. I cried tears of joy because I’m so lucky.   I didn’t let the usual fussiness get the best of me and I got to enjoy precious time with my little daughter.  She’s growing up so fast and I know won’t get to rock her forever.  She taught me a very important lesson this morning, just stop and listen and everything will fall into place.