May 162018

Sometimes you just need to stop and enjoy the small things.  Last night was not a good night at my house.  My daughter woke up more than she usually does and fought me through her feedings.  There was a storm which scared one of the dogs so she had to be in the bed with me.  When I say with me I mean, on top of me.  She has some weird issues(long story) so she wears a cone most of the time so you can imagine how fun it is to pick up a 60lbs dog with a cone on at 2am to put her in the bed and then have to lay on top of you and smash her cone head into your face.  So it was long exhausting night that was followed by a long morning of my daughter not wanting to nap or eat her bottles.  After fighting to get her to eat again and getting her ready for her nap, I started to rock her before I laid her down as I usually do.   I was thinking about how I needed to eat, wanting coffee in a bad way, wondering if I could take my headache medicine yet, wondering if the long night would become a fussy day, thinking about everything but holding her.  Then she started to talk to me. She often times will “talk” as a way to put herself to sleep.  She was babbling away and I replied I usually do.  She just kept it up though. After  5 minutes had gone by I decided to sit rock her.  The longer she talked the more I realized that she just needed me.  She needed to hear my heart beat in my chest, hear my voice, and feel my skin on hers.  In that moment she needed me to stop worrying about everything and just be there.   My daughter didn’t stop “talking” to me for 15 minutes or more before she drifted off to sleep.  I almost missed out of the sweetest voice and moment because I wanted to get on with my day.  I’m glad I took a breath and let her tell me what she needed.  After I laid her down I realized my headache was gone. That’s when the water works started. I cried tears of joy because I’m so lucky.   I didn’t let the usual fussiness get the best of me and I got to enjoy precious time with my little daughter.  She’s growing up so fast and I know won’t get to rock her forever.  She taught me a very important lesson this morning, just stop and listen and everything will fall into place.

Apr 302018

You might be a Mom if….

You can’t remember the last time to went to the bathroom yourself but you know your baby’s weight, height, last feeding, and dirty diaper.

You can do just about anything with one hand.

You’ve thought a kangaroo pouch would be really handy.

You look forward to a night out without your baby and then 15 minutes later you miss you baby and want to go home.

You feel guilty leaving your baby at home with Dad, even though he’s a good parent.

You make up songs about toots, baths, eating, burping, changing a diaper, wearing clothes, life in general.

You’ve said “Are you pooping?”

You’ve thought a kangaroo pouch would be really handy.

You’ve sniffed a diaper to decide whether there is poop inside.

You sing just about everything to your baby to make/keep them happy.

You’ve cried holding your baby because they are just so cute and precious.

You’re idea of making dinner is getting the box of cereal out the cabinet.

You’ve lost weight because you haven’t sat down to eat a full meal in a long time.

Sleep is something you day dream about.

Mar 222018

The saying it takes a village to raise children is an understatement.  If you really think about all the things that go into raising a well rounded child it’s so much more.  For me it started with a village of medical staff at the hospital that was required for my c-section.   People have asked me about how it was having a c-section and I keep thinking back to a random thing, why didn’t I take my socks off.(I’ll come back to the socks)

They say there is no shame in child birth.  I would agree with that.  After the first couple hours you don’t really care who comes in and checks you out.   I was in active labor for around 10 hours before my c-section so I got the whole experience of contractions.   Once it was decided I needed a c-section it was a like watching a well oiled machine.  The nurse call sounded the preverbal alarm and my body was almost no longer mine.   I already had an epidural so the anesthesiologist just had to give me more meds to numb me up more.  The room had many different medical staff coming and going doing different things to get me ready.  When I got into the operating room they had to prep my stomach to some crazy blue soap.  I was laying there thinking about how excited I was to meet my daughter but I was still very scared.  My epidural had worn off a couple things during the day so I was worried about being able to feel them cutting into me.  I was laying there and I realized I could feel my feet.  I asked if that I was ok and they said yes.  They told me to move them.  I did but I’m not sure if I actually did or not.  Then I was afraid because I could feel my shins.  I asked if that was ok.  The doctor said it was ok and asked if I could feel other things and I couldn’t so I was good.  The anesthesiologist told me they would be a touch test before starting so not to worry.  When I was about to ask about something else he told that they had already started so not to worry.   Everything went great with the c-section my daughter was healthy and I was fine.   It wasn’t until hours later when I was back in my room that I thought about my socks.  The nurse had told me I could keep my socks on when I got to the hospital and got in my gown so I did.  I realized that when they took me to the OR that I had never taken them off.   Every village needs an idiot and I was it that day.  My village of medical staff in the OR was probably wondering why this lady was laying there pretty much naked, blue belly, and her socks on.

The village of my family is by far the most important though.  You need the village of medical staff but they are really only there because you’re paying them.   The real stuff comes when you call in favors.  When I was in the hospital still after my c-section I was pretty much worthless because I couldn’t get up and move yet.  My sister was my saving grace.  My husband and I were both tired beyond belief because they have the baby stay in the room with you now and not go to a nursery. (That’s a whole other story) My sister said that if I needed it she would come and help us so we could sleep.   I thought I would be in fine but I was not.  My husband was not either.  He does not work well without sleep and we were not doing very well.  My sister took the day off work and came to the hospital to help.  This would not be the only time I’d call her in for help though.   Two days later after having a really bad night I had decided to back down and give my daughter a pacifier.   The problem was the hospital “does not have them to give out” at 3am but could be bought in the morning at the gift shop.  That was not going to work, so I messaged my sister at 3am to see if she could go by my house and bring over a pacifier.   Without skipping a beat she came over with the pacifiers.  Over the next weeks I learned how great my village really is by family coming over to help watch my daughter so I could shower, nap, or eat.  They brought food, send gift cards for food, and sent gifts.  I will be the first to say I could not do it alone nor would I ever want to.  I know I’m very lucky to have family and friends in town to help me.  I know that not everyone has what I do and that my daughter’s life will be much richer because of it.  It really does take a village to raise a child but also the knowledge to accept help and the grace of God to give you the people to lend it.