Funny Friday :p

 Jokes  No Responses »
May 182012
 

There’s nothing like making a fool of yourself on national television.

1. What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?

2. What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?

3. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

4. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

5. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

6. What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day?

7. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

8. What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it?

These jokes are some real knee slappers.  Enjoy the weekend. 

Answers: 1.A small medium at large. 2. Oh Snap! 3. A Gummy Bear. 4. Because he felt crummy. 5. Make me one with everything! 6. A Frisbee 7. Pumpkin Pi. 8. Nothing, it just let out a little whine.

Killing Time

 Rambling  No Responses »
May 172012
 

I had some time to kill so I decided to check out what games I could get on my iPhone. I searched the top free apps. Number one was I’d Cap That but you must have iOS 5 to run it, I only have an iPhone 4 so that was out of the question. I already had number three 100 Floors, number four Socialcam, and number five Logos Quiz. I decided to go check out the number two choice “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader.” I’m really regretting downloading the app now because it’s so addictive. I downloaded it this afternoon and I’m on level 3 after playing for an hour or so. It’s fun because you play against other people. You answer 8 questions, 2 from each grade from 1st to 4th at different point values. If more people get the question wrong the motr points you receive for the questions. You get extra points if you get the correct answer the quickest. At the end of round if you’ve won then you go to the 5th grade question. If you haven’t won you can use stars to continue to the 5th Grade round. If you answer the 5th Grade question correctly then you ‘Are Smarter Than A 5th Grader’ and receive bonus points and stars otherwise you just receive some points and are shamed not  being smarter than a 5th grader. You must have at least 25 stars in order to start a new game. It’s a pretty basic game but it becomes addicting because you want to see what the next questions will be. You should test your skills and see if you “Are Smarter Than A 5th Grader.”

Funny Friday :)

 Jokes  1 Response »
May 112012
 

1. Why did the cowboy adopt a Weiner dog?

2. Why do milking stools only have three legs?

3. Why is there no gambling in Africa?

4. Why didn’t the melons get married?

5. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

6. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?

7.What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but Saran wrap walked into his office?

8. Why did the police officer smell?

If you can’t tell by now I love bad jokes.  I’ve found that the G rated jokes can get just as many laughs as the dirty ones.  After spending 8 years in the Army I have my fair share of dirty jokes but I’m trying to clean up my act.   I hope you agree with me if not I guess you won’t read my Funny Friday jokes anymore. I highly recommend you continue to tune in each Friday though, the best is yet to come. 

Answers:1. He wanted to get a long little doggy. 2.’Cause the cow’s got the udder!3. Because they have too many Cheetahs! 4.Because they cantaloupe! 5.Polaroids 6. A Private Tutor. 7. I can clearly see you’re nuts! 8.Because he was on duty.

Roy Boy Shaved Ice

 Food  1 Response »
May 082012
 

It’s one of my favorite times of year, shaved ice season.  I was so happy to see that Roy Boy Shaved Ice had opened back up.  It is by far the best shaved ice in town.  If you haven’t ever had a Roy Boy you should definitely treat yourself.  It is located on the corner of Morgan Avenue and Green River Road in the parking lot.  They offer a good variety of flavor options.  The three size choices are$1, $2, or $3 cup.  You can add extra syrup for $.50 or whipped topping if that is what floats your boat.   My favorite flavor is the cotton candy pink.  There is nothing better than a yummy shaved ice on the hot summer day.  This weekend I took my nieces and nephew and scored big coolest aunt points.  I mean who doesn’t want to take a ride in the “Jeep Car” to go get a Roy Boy Shaved Ice?  

Funny Friday 3

 Jokes  No Responses »
May 042012
 

1. Why did the fish get kicked out of school?

2.What is invisible and smells like carrots?

3.Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender “Hey, could I get a beer please?”  The bartender looks at him shaking his head and say “No, we don’t serve food here.”

Support bacteria, they’re the only culture some people have.

Do not argue with an idiot; he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 

Answers:1.Cause he was caught with seaweed. 2. Rabbit farts. 3. It ran out of juice.

America’s Best

 Shopping  No Responses »
May 032012
 

If you’re looking for a great place to get glasses America’s Best is the place to go.  I recently went in to have an eye exam and purchased two pairs of glasses.  They have a special deal if you buy two pairs of glasses for $69.95 you get a free eye exam.  That is the deal that got me in the door but I was pleasantly surprised.   I had been putting off going to get glasses because I didn’t want to pay for an eye exam. ( Yes, I’m cheap) I was able to schedule my appointment online and walked in without a wait.  I saw the doctor and picked out some frames while they finished up the paperwork.  The staff was friendly and helpful.  It took less than a week for my glasses to come it.  Today I received a call from America’s Best  following up on how my glasses were working out.  The woman left a very nice message thanking me for my business.  She reminded me that if I needed any adjusts or had any problems with my glasses they would be happy to help me.   It seems like customer service isn’t really a priority to companies these days.   It is nice to see something different for a change.  I appreciate a company that takes the time to call and follow-up with me.  If you’re in the market for glasses or contacts America’s Best will be a good choice.

Funny Friday 2

 Jokes  No Responses »
Apr 272012
 

1. What do you call a boom-a-rang, that doesn’t come back?

2.What has a bottom at its top?

3. What do you call a cow with no legs?

4. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?

5. What grows down, when it grows up?

6. How do you catch a squirrel?

 Did you hear about the energizer bunny got arrest?  He was charged with battery. A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative. The lesson of the day is without geometry life would be pointless. 

 Answers: 1. A stick 2. A leg 3.Ground beef 4. Look Grandpa no hands! 5. A goose 6. Climb into a tree and act like a nut

Your Biggest Fan

 Rambling, Shopping  1 Response »
Apr 252012
 

Today I went to my local Schnucks Pharmacy to drop off some prescriptions.  I was armed with a few new scripts to be filled.  I went to the doctor hoping they would tell me it was just allegories but turned out to be an ear infection and sinus infection.  I have been filled my prescriptions at the same place for longer than I can remember.  I used to work at the store so I generally don’t have any issues.  I wasn’t getting any narcotics and even any good cough medicine.  An inhaler, nasal spray, and Z-Pack were about it.  The tech asked me for my driver’s license and my date of birth.  I handed my id to her which I thought was kinda weird but I did it.  She then began to look at my scripts with an eagle eye.  She’d look at the script and then glance back at me.  I could see the little hamster running on it’s wheel in the tech’s head.(She’s a meth head I just know it.) She continued to do this for a few minutes before she walked away.  She came back and said that they usually print two prescriptions on one page but mine had continued on to a second page.  I said yes that I few a prescriptions and that I had a couple I wasn’t filling yet.  She said that if I didn’t have the second page then the whole prescription wouldn’t be valid and they wouldn’t be able to fill it.  Now keep in mind I did have the second page that was needed.  She repeated that same thing again and I asked if it was going to be a problem?  She repeated again that if I didn’t have the second page it wouldn’t be any good.  I asked if she needed the doctor’s office to fax over a different copy?  She said no this would work but if I didn’t have the second page it wouldn’t work.  She told me to give it a few hours and it should be ready.  I thanked her and drove away.  On my way back to work I kept playing the exchange over in my mind.  It just didn’t sit right with me. If I were to write a letter to the tech if would read as follows:

Dear Pharmacy Tech,

Please do not talk to me about hypothetical situations when you have all the information you need to fill my prescription.  “If I didn’t….” isn’t something I want to hear.  If you continue to tell me hypothetical situations instead of helping me I may start telling you about hypothetical situations too.  If I didn’t have self-control then I would punch you in the face.  See how fun this game can be? 

Thanks,

Your Biggest Fan

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